 |
| Author | Post |
|---|
mb
S. Moderator
|
Posted: Sat Nov 7th, 2009 06:51 am |
|
So we buried Betty today. We celebrated her life and love. We remembered her laughter and pastimes. So that's all good and jolly. I get that part. But here's where I get a little confused.
Here she is - 86 years old. That's a good life, IMHO. She didn't suffer, she wasn't in any agony or emotional upheaval. She was a good neighbor, active, cheerful, funny, loving... etc. We opened with music (courtesy of moi) a greeting, a hymn, psalm 139, a sermon and then had a eulogy. By this time a lot of people were totally decimated; crying as though their hearts had been ripped out.
Am I calloused? Am I heartless? I felt no sorrow, only gentle love and a quiet peace. I don't want to sound condescending or uncaring. It's hard to empathize with some of these people in their abject grief. It seems misplaced. It seems, perhaps, off-base. I do understand that we are to mourn with those who mourn. But for how long?
There is a difference between comfort and commiseration. I don't want to confuse the two.
I suppose we express our grief differently in various cultures. That's true. In Nigeria I saw the raw face of grief as a mother threw herself onto the cement screaming and moaning as she rocked hopelessly. I heard it in the wailing of the wife who learned she had inherited the role of "widow". Her cries split the hospital courtyard where the families had spread their clothes to dry on the shrubs.
We are a more insular society, cozened in wealth and shielded by distance. So I sat rather stunned by my friends in their sorrow, and wondered if they somehow missed the Good News. After all, if we believe that when we meet death, it is not an end but a beginning, there should be no tears but rejoicing.
|
Gill White
Member
| Joined: | Sat Jul 25th, 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 96 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 7th, 2009 10:07 am |
|
mb wrote: Am I calloused? Am I heartless? I felt no sorrow, only gentle love and a quiet peace. I don't want to sound condescending or uncaring. It's hard to empathize with some of these people in their abject grief. It seems misplaced. It seems, perhaps, off-base. I do understand that we are to mourn with those who mourn. But for how long?
I know where you are coming from; and I don't think there is anything wrong with you.
Yes, we are all different, but if we ask God to help us in all things, He gives us that strength to overcome and one can be at peace in all situations, even in the middle of a battle field.
God has given me great peace, and this has been a great blessing from Him to me. I do get agitated from time to time, but it never lasts, for lengthily periods! But when I feel things trying to take over, I will seek Him and speak and Pray to Him, and He always helps me through it.
Phi 4:11
(11) Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
We have this hope, and there will be no more death and there won’t be any grief.
Rev 21:1-4
(1) I saw a new heaven and a new earth, because the first heaven and earth had disappeared, and the sea was gone.
(2) Then I saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, dressed like a bride ready for her husband.
(3) I heard a loud voice from the throne say, "God lives with humans! God will make his home with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them and be their God.
(4) He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There won't be any more death. There won't be any grief, crying, or pain, because the first things have disappeared."
I don't think it's wrong to grieve, but it must not take over!
|
lightoftruth
Member/DJ
|
Posted: Sat Nov 7th, 2009 10:42 am |
|
Emotion vs Faith.
It is quite normal for people to wail as you put it, when confronting physical loss. Their hearts have been ripped out. That grief will subside, yet it will never go away either. Some thing will trigger a memory and it will come flooding back.
I believe emotion is hard wired to some degree in all humans & animals. Many times I have seen supposedly unintelligent animals show a degree of confusion / bewilderment at the death of a companion, no matter how brief. It is no different, though deeper, with us.
That said, there have been many times I have said the over used line " they are better off now", which I truly believe. Every person has a tolerance level. Some go off the deep end at the slightest application of stress, others can keep it together no matter what the situation is.
I believe you to be one who first draws from the inner strength, were others may draw first from emotion.........
In my MOST humble opinion,,,,,,,,
your servant in humbleness![[grin]](/forums/themes/default/grinning-smiley-007.gif) ,,,,, LOT
|
ucfgrad93
Member
| Joined: | Sat Nov 7th, 2009 |
| Location: | Colorado USA |
| Posts: | 15 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 7th, 2009 09:46 pm |
|
| No, I don't think that you are being callous. Even if they are a believer, it is difficult not to mourn the passing of a loved one. We will miss them even though we know they are in a better place.
|
GilbertGuy
Member
| Joined: | Wed Nov 11th, 2009 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 3 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 20th, 2009 09:43 pm |
|
Among those who believe, and have a legitimate hope of eternal life through Christ with the triune God, there certainly ought to be an element of rejoicing. Yet there seems to be also a legitimate place for grieving. After all, isn't that part of what leaves us longing for our eventual home where there will be no more death, no more sickness, no more strife?
With the passing of one who does not believe, however, comes a different sort of grief. We experienced this just recently with the death of my wife's aunt, who, as far as we know, did not know the Lord. It is that kind of grieving that ought to lead us to be all the more eager to make known the glorious gospel of Christ.
|
Current time is 01:40 pm | |
|
|
|
|
